Sex, Nudity, Masturbation, We just Love it!

With last week’s news centering on ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews being secretly videotaped while changing through a hotel room peep hole, I began to think about how the internet has become a place of vulgar indecency just as much as a great place to explore and gain information.

Whether it’s a blog, such as this, or a social networking site, the internet has empowered generation X with the ability to say whatever it feels without having to worry about the consequences of crossing certain moral boundaries that we as people have lived by through society since before anyone could even begin to remember.

I’m all for free speech. I don’t particularly enjoy my work being blocked with some sort of goofy censorship tag. Some people deserve a good tongue lashing – or keyboard beat down, as generation X would refer to it.

See my blog on Bill O’Reilly’s unfathomable criticism of Michael Jackson for proof.

But to videotape a sideline reporter such as Erin Andrews with such scandalous intent as using a peep hole or the idea that she’s a modern day sex symbol to beer guts across the nation as motive, is … well, quite simply disgusting and flat out wrong.

This isn’t the first time something like this has occurred. But rather than focus on past events, why don’t we seek a solution to an all too common problem within the American society?

Perhaps we have become to close-minded to the thought of sex or nudity. I just don’t see the appeal of wanting to look at celebrities – or random every day women at that – in the nude, or having sex with their boyfriends or husbands. What the hell is the big ruckus over?

Boobs are boobs, people.

Some are a little bigger than others. Some are firmer than others. But for God sakes, if you’ve seen one boob you’ve probably seen them all.

Anatomically speaking, if you’ve slept with one gal, it’s not going to be that much different with your second partner. Other aspects may be different, but that’s a whole different column for a different day.

Maybe it’s just the appeal – we want to see people naked – we want to violate their rights because it’s exciting. It’s become a cult-like obsession to watch Paris Hilton screw her boyfriend on DVD. It’s become shop talk to be able to tell the next guy you witnessed Tommy Lee’s male member and how it pales in comparison to your own insecure body type.

Instead of “Welcome to America” signs, we should seriously invest in something a little more honest so the immigrants that are flocking to this country truly understand what we stand for.

How about something like, “Welcome to America: Home of The Sick and Exciting.”

Not everyone in self absorbed in this nudity craze, but most people would neither confirm nor deny their involvement or curiosity in such an act. I don’t want to sound hypocritical, so I’ll just let the cat out of the bag early.

Yes, I’ve watched a few porno’s in my day.

But I’ve never thought about watching a co-worker have sex (yes, I have stared at a couple co-workers boobs – unintentionally, of course) or have I ever wanted to videotape a friend changing or whatever the hell else women are doing these days.

Look, I don’t know how to describe what is going on with the morals of America. You can blame it on everything and anyone – hell; George Bush is probably fair game at this point. All I know is it needs to stop. We need to move on from our obsession.

So this leads me to ask, what the hell are women doing so much differently than men?

Think about it. When is the last time you heard of a WOMAN videotaping a man or watching a sex tape with a male celebrity or neighbor for that matter?

Go ahead, I’ll wait.

I guess Adam was just a lot sicker than Eve.

Or just a whole hell of a lot smarter.

But I digress.

With a Heavy Heart

Tonight I write this with a heavy heart for the Eardley family.

This past weekend the neighborhood family lost one of their sons to suicide after a long battle with depression. I won't get in to any more detail because it's a rather personal matter but I will say that a tragedy of this magnitude is something the Eardley's never deserved to experience.

Yet even in a time of pain and sorrow, I doubt you will hear any questioning from the family. They will not pull out the sympathy card or find themselves quarreling with God.

Instead they will most likely celebrate Matt's life and thank the Lord for the time they had with him. This is coming from a family that would do anything for anyone, regardless of race, gender or financial or political status. In a neighborhood that wasn't always the friendliest, the Eardley's stood out like a green thumb. They were always there to offer a helping hand.

And in a time like this, I hope the community will extend the favor and help their family out as they deal with this devestating event in their lives.

A friend of mine took his own life in 2005 after his own battle with depression and bipolar disease. It was at that moment I realized how strong a grip this disease had on him. This guy had a great job, an excellent education and a beautiful soon-to-be wife. He had work ethic, dedication, loyalty -- hell, he was a human cliche all knotted into one.

He was in Arizona doing charity work when he went out in to the woods and took his own life, leaving his mother with only one last voice mail explaining how he had come to a fork in the road and decided a bullet was the best solution to all his pain.

It was a sad day in a lot of people's lives. Our hunting trips up at the cabin haven't been the same since all of this happened. I still feel for his family now and I will hope to be able to use the experience to help the Eardley's in any way, shape or form possible. I'm not so sure people can really help in these times by doing, but rather just listening to those who need to grieve.

Despite the economy, George W. Bush, President Obama and whatever else the media is throwing out there, we need to remember how fortunate we are, and if we forget, a moment like the one I'm sharing should help to steer us back on track, as there are a lot of less fortunate people out there that need help.

So I ask that we all take some time to help someone around us, even a complete stranger.

Because you never know when you will be the one who needs help.

Bong Smoke Clouds Judgement of Grand Rapids Press

Ten years ago I worked in the bottle return department at Meijer. The job was disgusting and downright degrading if you really stop and think about it. Every day I would report to work only to spend the next six to eight hours emptying sticky and foul smelling blue bins with a gazillion pop bottles filled to the top. I would constantly be annoyed by a loud beeping nose which either meant the machine was full or jammed by a dented pop can. I would sit and listen to customers whine and cry and piss and moan about everything from failed marriages to crappy weather.

Take your frustrations out on me; I’m only the bottle return guy!

I toughed it out for over two years and finally quitting at a whopping $5.65 an hour.

One day, a couple months before I resigned to seek other employment, a co-worker and I were sitting behind the pop machines on a unusually slow day on the job. My co-worker decided to grab a pop but quickly realized he forgot his wallet in his other pair of work pants. So, like a typical moronic sixteen year old, this guy decided to make out a bottle return receipt from the cash register and then proceeded to cash it out so he could indulge in a cold root beer.

You know how this story ends. This guy was fired a couple days later by our loss prevention team, and rightfully so because he stole from the company and became a liability.

Perhaps this is comparing apples to oranges, but thinking of this (or the time a co-worker with 30 years seniority was fired for walking by the produce department and plucking a grape from the display) really makes me wonder how the hell the Grand Rapids Press columnist, David Mayo, was handed his job back on a silver platter after accepting a plea deal in a marijuana case which forces him to now reside as convicted felon.

I keep hearing all this talk about Mayo being a veteran writer with a clean past or the fact that smoking a little cannabis is a personal choice and because he wasn’t distributing it to other people the whole thing should have been dropped and ignored.

Excuse me, but last time I checked smoking marijuana was illegal.

You know, against the law.

David Mayo should have been fired immediately because his conduct was irresponsible and unprofessional. And the message the Press is sending is flat out hypocritical to everything they supposedly stood for at one point and time. There are plenty of struggling journalists out there looking for work. They are doing things the right way and Mayo is rewarded for acting like a fool.

I sure as hell don’t want to see any more stories in the press talking ill of those who smoke marijuana because your lead sports guy is a pot head.

I guess drinking and driving and stealing are all acceptable acts of conduct for the Grand Rapids Press. By giving Mayo his job back they’ve opened a Pandora’s Box. The next time someone on the staff breaks the law how can you justify firing them? Can you imagine what the morale in the department would be like?

Bill is clearing his desk while staring across the hall to David Mayo, his feet kicked back with a coffee cup in one hand and the latest edition of High Times in the other.

One man’s family suffers, another man writes a column explaining – not apologizing – his situation and is handed his salary with not so much as a slap on the wrist.

Look, I don’t care if you smoke pot. But if businesses are going to make illegal behavior legal, then it’s about time we quit forcing congressmen to resign from offices for having affairs. And while we’re at it, let’s lighten up on drunk drivers throughout the state. After all, just because you act like a drunken fool when you blow .08 doesn’t mean that I will. If we can start placing discretion on the crimes we commit then there is no credibility within the system.
We’ve simply created a crutch for some people to use to their advantage.

And you can bet your ass people will do just that, because we are Americans and there’s nothing better than a free handout.

So hurry up and light off that bong. What do you have to lose?

Certainly not your job.

What would we do without Bill O'Reily?

If I haven’t said it before, let me say it now: Bill O’Reily is a jackass.

And that probably won’t be the first time I say it, either.

O’Reily’s most recent attack on Michael Jackson, just 24 hrs after his memorial at The Staples Center, is just another one of the many examples (anyone remember Marilyn Manson?) that O’Reily has used to feast upon the court of public opinion since the inception of his career in star studded incompetent journalism 101.

O’Reily blasts Jackson as “no black icon” and continues to pour salt on a global wound by proclaiming Jackson as selfish for spending millions of dollars on himself. O’Reily attempts to downplay all the charitable contributions Jackson made over his 50 year life and all the people he touched or inspired to get up in the morning and vow to become a better person.

Since when is it wrong to spend YOUR OWN MONEY on something you want? Obviously, Bill, if you make more, you're going to spend more. We aren't tackling the Theory of Relativity here, you bozo.

You're really reaching for stars, my friend. Is the network putting that much pressure on you to come up with the next big scoop that all you can think of to be "opinionated" about is a man's spending habits? Last time I checked you weren't living in Harlem or shopping at a thrift store.

I can’t say I’m surprised. O’Reily is another blowhard who is living a life of riches by stirring up controversy whenever an opportunity presents itself. This ass clown needs ratings. It’s a numbers game with O’Reily and all the networks that do not see the death of a human being as sympathetic gesture to those who are mourning, but rather a chance to turn in more of a profit than the week prior.

Is that you’re contribution to this world O’Reily? A watered down opinion programmed by the suits? Or is it one of those shit-filled ‘books’ you drop every year proclaiming your greatness as an American?

Michael Jackson is an icon, period. There is no black or white attached. He was a good person who had some turbulent times in his life like all of us, but in the end he accomplished more good in his life than most men will ever imagine.

Including you, Bill.

I could turn this into pages and pages of information exposing O’Reily for all the past mistakes he made, but I refuse to stoop to his level. Do us all a favor Bill: Let Michael Jackson Rest.

Let his family mourn.

Let his children cope.

Because, believe it or not, The Greatest Entertainer in the World didn’t need you while he was alive.

And he sure as hell doesn’t need you in death.

Oh, that goes for you too, Peter King.

Pyromaniacs, No, Not Really

LISTENING TO: "Laughing With" - Regina Spektor

I realize it's pretty late and I should be sleeping, but as I was walking by the computer room towards my bedroom to turn in, I decided that I should just blog a few quick thoughts for the night. It is my belief, anyway, that I do my best writing at night listening to music. No real way to tell if that is the truth or not. I guess you will have to be the judge.

To start off the Holiday weekend I traveled up to our cabin in Brohman, Michigan with my Dad and brother. Before I go any further, let me clarify that we do not have running water up there so that is where the picture above is from -- my attempt to wash my hair in the ice cold crick water. We usually all go up there for boe and riffle season but occasionally I try to get up during the summer to mess around. This week was more about geting stuff done, though. Over the last 6 months to a year I've dropped off trailor load after trailor load of wood and old paneling from the house I began remodeling at the tail end of 2007. I just recently dropped off a bunch of concrete that I demolished from an old shed in the backyard and with boe season right around the corner we needed to get things burned, moved or just out of the way.

It wasn't ALL work though. I got curious and filled up two milk jugs with gasoline and then set them close to the fire, only to fire a .22 shell into them to watch the explosion. It was so intense that I grabbed a half used bottle of "OFF" and went against those "do not use in heat or puncture" warnings that you always hear about as a kid; yeah, I drilled another .22 shell through it and watched it catch fire. I'm not a pyro-maniac, honest to God. It's amazing what bordem can bring you to do. Never the less, the experiences up there are always worth the time spent.

I stopped up in Whitecloud at my buddies and had a few adult beverages, played a little pool and shot the shit with a few locals that were hanging around. The locals in the area always leaving me walking away shaking my head ... in agood way, of course. I'll get more into the meaning behind the experiences up there later this week. You can expect that. Oh, on another non-related note, I saw The Hangover on Thursday night. Hilarious.

Shameless Plug

See below . A recent article I put together for the Rockford Squire. Shamless plug, yes, I'm aware.

http://rockfordsquire.com/2009/07/02/hall-of-fame-game-just-beginning-for-rosema-lubs/

Ben Gordon, Welcome To The Motor-City ... Can We Still Call it That?

Yesterday Joe Dumars delivered on his two-year promise to “change the culture” of Detroit Basketball by signing free agents Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva. These guys aren’t exactly LeBron James or Kobe Bryant, but for what is on the strung out market for the year these two guys aren’t half bad.

It doesn’t appear that Rasheed Wallace will be re-signed, and with Gordon coming in to town it should be noted that Rip Hamilton is likely to be moved. Granted, it would be nice to have both Rip and Gordon on the team but that would mean one of them would have to take a 6th man role, which something that didn’t reside well with Hamilton last year after now former coach Michael Curry made the decision. Still, Hamilton is due 10 million in the upcoming season and with Gordon just signing a 5 year deal worth upwards of 55 million dollars it’s hard to imagine Hamilton will stick around.

Villanueva is a good offensive big man and at 7 million a year for 5 years it’s not a bad pickup, but I still think Detroit overpaid him by about 2 million a year. He can score though, averaging 16.2 points per game with the god-awful Milwaukee Bucks. And unlike Rasheed Wallace, he actually has a post game which is what Detroit has been missing for decades. I hope that whoever Detroit brings in as a new coach – rumor has it to be Avery Johnson, TNT broadcaster and former Dallas Mavericks guru – is able to get Villanueva to be a more physical rebounder because that is the one thing Detroit needs that he has shown to be lacking in.

If Hamilton is traded it will leave Tayshaun Prince as the lone member of the Piston’s core team since 2002, a team that lead them to six straight eastern conference finals with back-to-back championship runs resulting in a world title in 2004. I’m sort of bittersweet over the whole thing. Like most, I’ve wanted change for this team. But more than the players, I think the next coach will be very vital to the success of this team. I know the NBA is a business and if the team stinks you can’t fire them so you fire the coach. But often times I’ve felt like the Pistons have quit on a coach and this time, instead of following suit I’d like Joe Dumars to stand up for a guy he puts in charge.

Let us keep our fingers crossed that Detroit is able to re-sign Antonio McDyess. I love this guy and I think he’s a benchmark for Detroit’s success, but part of me wouldn’t mind seeing him join a true contender because he deserves a chance to win an NBA title, and I’m not so sure Detroit will be able to get that far in the playoffs next year.

Unless, of course, they find a way to trade for Chris Bosh.

We can all dream, can’t we?

Blah blah blah blame it on you morons

There are two things I’d like to address this morning: Jamie Foxx’s comments at the BET Music Awards and Perez Hilton’s recent song and dance over the fact that he got punched in the face for mouthing off to Black Eye Pea’s member Will.I.Am.

If you missed this year’s 09’ BET Music Awards – a tribute show to The Late King of Pop, Michael Jackson – you missed a heck of a show. Artists from every genre and every generation were there to give a proper tribute to Jackson after his recent passing last Thursday. Everything from the cover songs to Janet Jackson addressing the public for the first time since her brother’s death served Michael Jackson as a great entertainer and kind human being. The sad thing, however, is that Jamie Foxx ruined it all with his comments towards the end of the show. Foxx went on an over-the-top rant about Michael Jackson – and I’m paraphrasing – explaining that MJ was a “black man that we all let you borrow.”

My question is simple: Why? Why the hell was race mentioned? Last time I checked everyone knew Michael Jackson was black, and those who didn’t probably didn’t give a damn what color he was or what he appeared to be. The message that Jackson conveyed through his music and his charitable donations with children was far bigger than race. Nobody ever saw a 9-year old Jackson on stage in 1967 and said “Wow, look at that black boy,” because nobody cared. People related to Jackson for over 4 decades because of what he did and not what he looked like. Quite frankly, I’m getting sick and tired of Foxx taking every opportunity to strengthen his own agenda. Furthermore, why was he hosting the show?

Maybe someone can help me understand this. Because when I think of Jamie Foxx I think of In Living Color or Ray. I give the man his respect as a great actor, but as a musician who has to rely on Auto-Tuner to get a number one hit on the charts, I find it embarrassing that he was even allowed to cover a Michael Jackson song. Jackson’s music was about the experience – it wasn’t just lyrics and dancing or race.

BET did a great job producing the show. It’s just sad that people who saw the whole thing will be left buzzing about what a moron Jamie Foxx was and not what the show was really supposed to convey – the life of Michael Jackson, the greatest performer the world will ever see.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Can you imagine if a white person were to stand on stage and proclaim Elvis Presley as a “White man that we just let ya’ll borrow.” I sure hope Al Sharpton doesn’t get wind of this. I wonder what Don Imus is thinking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCGWVZJ8HGQ

Moving on to Perez Hilton, Boy I’m getting sick of this character. How do you openly criticize anyone who has a problem with homosexuals, yet find yourself dropping the “F” word – faggot – to a straight man in an attempt to degrade him? I’m willing to bet if this clown wasn’t gay his blog probably would be viewed about as much as mine. I know you need some kind of gimmick to appeal to the masses, but whatever happened to originality? When you have to rely on using an alias that represents Paris Hilton in order to generate revenue that says something about your writing ability. The guy is getting paid so I can’t blame his strategy. I just find it odd that everyone is still listening.

Cry me a river, Perez. Ya flippin’ moron.